Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
