I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Drake has all the answers
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
