we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
