i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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