he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
