Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
