batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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