I don't remember. Are we still dating?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
