She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just found puke in my bra..
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We have started to decorate penises.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
