We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
i think i just lost a toe
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
