I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize