We won't sleep together?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
