sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
