i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
