if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You pole danced in your parka.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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