I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
