well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Let's get the cat blown out
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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