You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
My liver just had a heart attack.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
