Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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