Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
