If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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