2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
