Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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