Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
