Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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