You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
