I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
