you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
