All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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