I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
