Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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