a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
