Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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