Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
