Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
