i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
How's work?
Spinning.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize