someone threw a dead crab at me
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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