I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize