I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
