You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize