I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
