Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
she smelled like a LAN party
This house was built for laser tag.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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