I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
