I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
