Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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