My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
