do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
