I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
