Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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