Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize