I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
