New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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