wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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