This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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