we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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