So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
