But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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