he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
