Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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