Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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