Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
